When Kids Say No to New Foods: What a NYC Feeding Therapist Wants You to Know
Many parents visit my speech and feeding clinic in New York City because their children are hesitant to try new foods.
Many children I work with have a limited repertoire of what they will eat during each given meal and day.
I treat a variety of feeding challenges that can occur along a spectrum with children diagnosed as mild picky eaters to more complex medical cases such as diagnoses of growth faltering or ARFID (avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder) or PICA.
Parents often seek my professional opinion to help their child eat a larger variety of nutritious foods for a variety of reasons.
Often the family initially enters my clinic utterly frustrated and looking for help.
Mealtime has become a time of struggle and frequent battles.
Here are some frequent refrains heard during these mealtime battles:
‘You must finish what is on your plate’
‘You have to finish your dinner before you can play video games’
‘You need to eat one spoonful of that before you can leave the table’
Going out to eat at restaurants or even attending a friend’s birthday party or celebratory dinner can be a source of great anxiety and stress for the child and the entire family.
Sadly families may often avoid these moments of celebration to mitigate their feelings of frustration around these social eating events.
Moments that are traditionally fun times for connection, celebration and joy can instead become negative loops of stress, anxiety, worry and even avoidance all together.
Usually by the time a family has found me – they are all exhausted – you’re not alone.
Usually the parents, child and whole family are equally and rightfully tired of all the daily mealtime battles.
So, what can we do as therapists, parents and caregivers when a child says, no to a food we would like them to try?
One of the most powerful steps you can take towards improving mealtime with your child is to engage in meaningful mealtime activities with them.
Here are some mealtime activities to try at breakfast, lunch and dinner with your child:
- Create a food shopping list with your child’s thoughts and ideas about what they would like to eat for the week. You can provide a structure to this list – by suggesting a few items from each food group.
- Encourage your child to find these items in the store when you go shopping together or even online.
- Practice setting the table together before each meal.
- Invite your child to pick out the plates, cups and napkins colors they desire. This provides them with both agency and choice.
- Create a mealtime menu for the week. Provide multiple choices for your child to choose from. For example, ask them which proteins, vegetables, or fruits they would like to explore this week.
- Give a few selections to choose from when creating a weekly meal menu. This provides a sense of agency and choice for your child.
- Encourage your child to engage in the meal preparation process. This can include: pouring, mixing and measuring the ingredients.
- Create a calming mealtime environment. Perhaps add soft lights and music.
- Create a beautiful flower arrangement, collage or visually striking picture together to place on the table. This creates an inviting mealtime experience for both you and your child.
- Connect and chat each day together during mealtime. Sit down and enjoy meals together as family – as time allows.
- Encourage your child to ‘try’ different foods on their plate. ‘Trying’ could include allowing the food to touch their plate, touching it, licking it, or possibly taking a small bite.
- Explore eating in different spaces – like an outdoor picnic!
Use mealtime as a moment to connect, communicate, discuss and laugh with your child.
I invite you to approach mealtime with lightness and curiosity.
By providing agency and choice to mealtimes – your child may slowly find the feelings of freedom and safety to try new things.
In fact, they might just change that no – into a yes – all on their own!
If your child is struggling during mealtime- we are here ready to help support your child’s growth.
Are you ready to experience the difference of bespoke, holistic, compassionate, personalized care at Chatty Child?
Chatty Child’s speech therapists can assess your child’s feeding needs and craft an individually tailored treatment plan to address any areas of concern; while working seamlessly with your child’s medical team to achieve the best therapeutic outcomes for your child and family.
To book an in-person or online speech therapy assessment and treatment sessions with Heather Lynn Boerner, MA CCC/SLP, please visit our website at: www.chattychild.com; email: info@chattychild.com; or call: 347 491 4451
Sincerely,
Heather Lynn Boerner, MA CCC/SLP
Meet the Author: A Pediatric Speech Therapist in NYC
Heather Lynn Boerner, MA CCC/SLP, is a nationally certified and New York State licensed speech-language pathologist with over two decades of experience providing pediatric speech therapy in NYC. In addition to her clinical background, Heather is a certified mindfulness and meditation teacher, a trauma-informed provider, and a proud neurodiverse and differently-abled individual. Her personal and professional experiences deeply inform her approach to care.
Heather’s own journey as a differently-abled person led her to establish Chatty Child Speech, Occupational & Physical Therapy, PLLC, an inclusive practice dedicated to empowering children through individualized, compassionate support. She is also the author of Carrie the Colorful Chameleon, a children’s book that promotes confidence, learning, and friendship. The story includes a teaching guide designed for use by parents and educators alike.
Heather and her team offer services both in-person at their Tribeca, Manhattan clinic and virtually throughout New York State, helping children grow in confidence, communication, and self-expression.
